Matthew having a blast with his cousins' kids at a family gathering in Manitoba on Sunday

The three legged race

Checking out the technology...



















Acorn baseball: with a pop-bottle for a bat...















He's going to be a wonderful dad...

Sixteen and a half weeks

Four and a half inches long now, and (in my unscientific opinion) about the size of a small mango.

We just got back from a lovely week long visit with Matthew's family Manitoba who were without exception warm and supportive about our expectancy--they threw us a shower! We came back with a bunch of baby clothes, blankets, a fuzzy little bunny, and a VERY COOL DIAPER BAG MADE OUT OF OLD SEATBELTS! A lady in Matthew's hometown makes them and his mom got it for us. Mine looks a lot like this one, only my blues are a bit greyer and my greys are a bit browner--if that makes any sense.
Click on the image to check out her website. She makes other kinds of bags and purses too. Did you know that diaper bags did not have to be in pastel colours? Or quilted? Or have bunnies or ducks on them? Or that they can be made from recycled materials? I'm pretty pleased, as you can tell.

In other news I had a resurgence of NVP (nausea and vomiting of pregnancy--the technical term since morning sickness isn't really accurate, especially the morning part) this week, probably because I've been fighting a nasty sinus bug and my body isn't happy with me.

I read birth stories on the plane ride home and found myself welling up constantly. I'm not usually this "moveable." They were all natural childbirth stories, and they make me feel good about giving birth, confident that my body is made for this seemingly impossible feat, filled with wonder, and a desire to prepare myself emotionally and spiritually, and almost, almost, an eagerness to take on the challenge! I must be crazy. It's all those hormones surging through my system.

I believe!

We heard the baby's heartbeat today

nosebleeds, leg cramps and feeling beautiful

Fifteen weeks pregnant today, and I'm going to meet my midwife this afternoon. I'm definitely showing now, and I've put on some weight in other parts of my body as well--lets just say the areas where women easily put on weight. I look at myself in the mirror and my body is completely different from what it has ever been before. Gone is the "I could still pass for a teenager" look. I feel like a WOMAN. And I feel more beautiful than I've ever felt before. Which is a really pleasant surprise. And Matthew agrees!

The baby should be around 4 inches long from head to bottom, and the legs are growing longer than the arms. 4 inches. Would that be about the size of an avacado? Sure!

I am starting a new job which will not involve shift work anymore, and will be less hours. I have been finding it very difficult to take proper care of myself while working this last while--not getting enough sleep, not having enought time on shift to eat and drink enough, and having too erratic a schedule to be very consistent with my vitamins. Working so hard has sometimes made it difficult to remember that I am pregnant and in my exhaustion I have sometimes felt out of touch with the fact that there is a baby in my womb, and I have felt like a neglectful mother. I'm excited to have a more sane lifestyle and I'm already starting to "feel" more pregnant--more aware of what's happening.

I read that around this time I may be experiencing some nosebleeds and legcramps. Well, I've had about 5 nosebleeds in the last three weeks, but I had no idea they were connected to pregnancy. Something to do with hormones causing dryness, and more pressure on bloodvessels. And last night at 4 AM I had my first leg cramp! I woke up to intense surprising pain in my calf and I cried out in pain in a strange pinched whimper that must have made the neighbours think a dog was dying a painful death in the alley. Poor Matthew woke up and rubbed my calf for me and I went back to sleep. The leg cramp woke me up from a dream about irrigation as a way to purify water.....

Another thing that has helped me become more aware has been the positive birth stories I've been reading. I'm discovering how helpful it can be to read positive birth stories. No horror stories, please. I'm starting actually to feel excited about labour and birth, and not afraid. Which is good, because apparently your attitude going in has a lot of influence on how you experience the pain and how cooperative your body is in helping the baby come out. Some women actually experience very little pain and have a euphoric, literally ecstatic, experience at birth. Interestingly, these experiences are all reported by women who did not have medical interventions like induction, epidural, and episiotomy. They went into birth with confidence and surrender, were surrounded by love and encouragement during the process, and experienced the contractions as waves of energy to "flow with" rather than as "cramps" to "endure". Very interesting. The book I'm reading is "Ina May's Guide to Childbirth" by Ina May Gaskin. It's fascinating and I'm finding it very helpful in mentally preparing myself for all the things to come.



It's a whole new world.

trouser buttons, other babies, jumbo shrimp and names

I'm officially 14 weeks pregnant today, and have officially entered the 2nd trimester with 1 pair of maternity jeans (already in use), 1 pair of black maternity slacks (too roomy yet), 1 maternity skirt, and 2 shirts. Mostly I'm wearing my old clothes, but I have to leave the top button (or two) of most of my jeans undone. I've resorted to wearing shawls and scarves around my waist! I'm definitely sticking out. I hope to post pictures soon!

Matthew and I have finally started talking about names. But I'm being very cruel, because I'm not going to tell you our ideas. Best kept secret until the little one can confirm by his or her presence whether it's the right name.

Our good friends Deacon Greg and Taesia just had their fourth and they were still not agreed on a boys name. They had a few different ideas, but the most prominent was John. Then their little boy was born. And Taesia still wasn't sure about John. And she looked at him and said: "Greg, look! He's an Alexander!!" (a name that wasn't on their list at all) and Greg looked and saw, that yes, indeed, this baby was an Alexander. So Alexander John Jacob Pines Scratch he is.

And we'll have to be prepared for our baby to tell us in the same way the name that is right. But we still have ideas.

All these little things...making lists of names, buying maternity clothes...all outward tangible signs of a mysterious reality that is somehow taking place inside my middle. It's so difficult to fathom, I jump at every little reminder to confirm its truth--whether it's a little more roundness to my belly, having a doctor's appointment, or even the bout of morning-sickness I had this morning.

Every newborn baby I see, at church, on the announcements from friends back in BC, stirs in me a new tenderness. It's not that I want to hold the baby--although I've always liked holding babies and sought the opportunity, but there's something different now. I'm less interested in the other babies, and at the same time more filled with wonder at them. And I do want to hold them--be near them to see the reality, to be reminded of what I will be holding in my arms in March that will not be someone else's baby, but my own. Both a wonderful and a terrifying thought.

In case anyone is interested in the trivia: my baby should be roughly the size of a lemon now. I didn't bother to tell you at 13 weeks, because the website I was consulting for average fruit sizes departed from the fruit theme for some strange reason and likened the growing foetus at 13 weeks to a JUMBO SHRIMP! I wasn't nearly as impressed by that mental pictures as I was previously by raspberry, kumquat, or fig. And I certainly wasn't going to post a picture!

The little Kumquat is now 3 1/2 inches long from head to bottom, and is supposedly moving around and able to make facial expressions. Everything is developed, and now mostly just needs to grow in size... For perspective, the hands and feet are supposed to be about 1/2 inch long each. Can you imagine?